Me, My Work and My Pantyhose Fetish

So has I’ve said before I am an internet marketer. I make websites and rank them on Google for a living. I mainly work with adult websites because that is where most of my money comes from. One thing that holds me up with my work is that I also got a pantyhose fetish. When I am trying to work and I come across a girl wearing pantyhose I instantly stop and gaze. I believe it also affects my relationship with my wife. Sometimes I wonder is it me or are my needs not being met.

On a normal day, I probably gaze porn more than most males do. It’s my job, I kind of block it out honestly. I guess it is sort of like being a Gyno Doctor or something, I don’t pay it no mind. Except when I see a lady in pantyhose then I stop and watch. Sometimes I will waste a stupid amount of time gazing at women and I even spend money on the fetish.

One day I was working on the pantyhose webcams when I came across a site Pantyhoseme.com It’s made up of girls who wear pantyhose, stockings and nylons on a webcam and chat with them about their fetishes. I ended up spending a lot of money and a lot of time that day. That is when I realized I absorb a lot of productivity on this fetish.

So let me back up a little bit. I am a happily married man. I’ve been with my wife for 8 years now. She used to give into my fetish and wear stockings and crotchless pantyhose for me sometimes. I wouldn’t ask her to wear pantyhose because like I’ve read from other women that are not in our business it reminds them of grandmas or church ladies. I was always a little ashamed and afraid of being mocked for thinking pantyhose are sexy and a turn on.

Now my wife is going through menopause. I don’t think she is cheating or anything but her sex drive is gone or she is bored one but we really don’t have a love life anymore. I don’t even dare try to get her to wear stockings or nylons because I am barely getting laid so I don’t want to make it more complicated. For those of you say you should talk to her I have tried but it really doesn’t do any good but I love her very much so I tolerate this dry spell in our relationship and try to have compassion.

So now when I am not working I am usually masturbating and watching women in pantyhose. It’s almost become an obsession I think. I’m not sure if I am mentally cheating on my wife or fulfilling a need that I have. All I know is that I got a fetish and my needs are not being met.